These nails are magic!

Posted on: January 31, 2012

I went out tonight with my neighbor… I was in the mood for drinks and we hadn’t hung out in awhile, so I’d emailed him to see if he’d be interested in doing something. Luckily, he was on the list for a bar’s anniversary party – free drinks and free food. Awesome.

Three drinks in, I was pretty tipsy and he couldn’t stop telling me how cute my nails are. The same hooker nails from the other blog post. I love my neighbor in terms of he’s awesome and watches over me, but not so much in terms of I plan to sleep with him. In fact, we are no where near on the same page with that.

We’re at the bar, talking to this random guy we met, and my neighbor pointed out how small and pretty my nails are…. which, ok, whatever. And then, they had a conversation about toes. Here’s the thing… I hate feet. They totally gross me out. I actually feel bad during pedis because of the poor girls who have to deal with my feet. And they had a conversation about how they’d like to wrap my feet in bacon and dip them in strawberry sauce. I almost puked. Seriously. So close to vomiting. And then… he sucked my thumb. I don’t really understand how my hand got in his mouth, but my reaction was: “EWWWWWWWWWW! Stop it!” and pulling my hand away. Not so classy but really, who does that?

My neighbor would fuck me in a heartbeat. I know this and make sure I don’t do anything to lead him on. In fact, quite the opposite, I’m very vehement in our never getting together. Even when he asked for a kiss, I only gave him my cheek… nothing more. He knows I won’t, but still tries. I did tell him about British and he laughed at me, which ok, I totally deserved. He just texted and said he’d use a british accent if that’s what it takes to get me in bed…. made me giggle and I didn’t text back.

It was a fun night, even if I did have to make sure Mr. Gropey didn’t grab too much. Not just because it’s inappropriate but because I haven’t worked out in months. Anything he would grab would be so soft. Gross. But it was fun and I felt pretty and someone wants me and I didn’t cry. Small victories count for so much.




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