Awesome Feb 14th Stories

Posted on: February 14, 2012

And by awesome I mean boys are so stupid. These are not my stories (thank god)… But they are 100% real.

Story #1:

My friend (a real true friend who gave me permission to write this) got up this morning, all sexed up in red-frilly panties, looking hot, and cooked breakfast for her boyfriend. She woke him up, tits up front and center, and he looks at her and says: “Leave me alone. I’m sleeping” and rolls back over. (*I burst out laughing at this point*). So she takes all the food back to the kitchen, and he comes out a little bit later, looks around and asks: “What’s all this?” She not so nicely explained that she’d made him breakfast in bed, but since he refused to get up, it’s all sitting in the kitchen, cold and gross. And so he says, “Well, if I didn’t have this cold, I would’ve smelled the bacon and gotten up.”

HAHAHAHA. So to recap – sexy red lingerie, breakfast in bed, big boobs, and he can only think about the bacon. Fucking idiot.

Story #2:

My friend’s friend’s Valentines day gift was a mesh tracksuit picked up by her husband on the way home, at a gas station, which was also where he picked up the card. These words never belong in the same sentence: 1) Mesh 2) Tracksuit 3) Gas Station.    Never ever ever. I don’t even know where to look if I were to want to buy a gas station tracksuit. In mesh. (Which, for clarity,  I will never want to do. Though I may have coveted some Walgreens sweatpants once.)

If you have better, feel free to leave it in the comments.



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