Me and the Gays

Posted on: March 3, 2012

I went out with my gaybor (gay neighbor) last night – dinner and then the gay bar.  He’s having some relationship problems and my issues are pretty well documented, so I won’t recap my whining here. In any case, he said we should go somewhere where I can get hit on too, but surprisingly, I hold my own around the gays, especially the ones who appreciate boobs. We were there one night and I was keeping an eye on him, making sure he was ok and the rest of everything happened so fast I barely knew what was going on — but out of nowhere, some random gay dude came up to me, stuck his face in my tits (my tank had shifted a little low) and MOTORBOATED ME AT THE BAR.

I gasped, pulled back and laughed, because come on — that shit’s funny. I asked him what he was doing and he goes, “They’re so great! I just had to!!” and walked away, with this ridiculous smile on his face. So, now, every time I’m at this bar, I keep one eye out for any incoming faces.

Another night, this very very drunk but very nice lesbian kept buying us drinks in the hopes of getting into my pants. She bought us multiple ‘mind eraser’ shots, half of which I didn’t finish. She asked if I’d ever been with a girl, which I honestly answered I haven’t, and she asked if I wanted to try with her… I told her I was too old to experiment, but she was insistent. Finally, when she was leaving, she asked for my number again so I gave it to her. Basically, I couldn’t find a graceful way out of it and didn’t want to hurt her feelings… She never called, which kind of hurt *my* feelings, actually.

Last night, we ended up taking some new friends back to their place and hanging out for a bit. It was fun  – I couldn’t drink anymore so I switched to water while they continued with one more drink. One of the guys is a rep for a skin-care line, so before we left, he went back to his room and got me very prettily wrapped samples of expensive exfoliators and creams. I got parting-gifts!! Just for being the only girl!! I was so excited!!!

The gays are awesome.



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