I took myself to Chili’s

Posted on: March 5, 2012

Who knew I’d blog about Chili’s two days in a row. But after hearing that awesome lunch date proposal on Saturday night, it’s kind of all I’ve been craving – so I went today and paid for my own lunch – which, how was it freaking $14 after drink, meal, tax and tip? WTF. Maybe that guy isn’t going to get off so cheap after all. I mean, I’m assuming he’ll spring for dessert too if he wants any type of action.

Anyway – this outing reminded me of the last time I went to Chili’s, which was back in December. It was pouring rain that day and I was embroiled in the end of my relationship with stupid British, and all I did was cry.  Just cry and cry and cry and cry some more. The kind of crying that you can’t really stop, even though it’s super embarrassing. I also cried on an international flight, in a hotel room in Tanzania, in my cube at work, in friends’ cubes, in friends’ offices in the same building, in friends’ offices in different buildings, in a Whole Foods and in a Thai restaurant – awesome.

My poor friend (who’s reading this – thanks!!) who was with me for lunch that day couldn’t say anything to make it better and I couldn’t even explain WHY I was crying so much except for blubbering out “I love him and how could he end it on facebook and I still want to be with him and it’s not fair and why doesn’t he want me and I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE HIMMMMMMMMM” in an endless loop and then go back into a sort of quiet internal wailing that only expresses itself with non-stop tears and is interspersed with those hiccups you get from all of it.

SO… Since I couldn’t really read the menu due to the wetness in my eyes, I just asked the waitress if any of their lunch specials were vegetarian, which they were not. She said they could go ahead and do a couple of substitutions and make one of the platters veggie-friendly, and in my ridiculously upset state and not really caring and just wanting her to leave so I could get back to my crying in front of my friend only, I said sure, that sounds fine and just ordered whatever she said.

Imagine my surprise when my meal shows up and I have exactly two salads. One big salad and one small side salad. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO WITH TWO SALADS!?!?!? Who needs that much roughage?!?! I stopped crying long enough to look at my friend and ask, “What the hell did I order? Why are there two salads on this plate? Didn’t I get a sandwich? Why would she think I want two salads, that are only different by dressing????”

I ate approximately 3 bites of one of them and that was it, went back to my crying. And I remember being annoyed then too, because it cost me like $10. WTF, Chili’s.


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