Cosmo lies

Posted on: March 12, 2012

I subscribe to Cosmo and every freaking month it screams its headlines to you: “WHAT’S YOUR VAGINA SAYING??”     “HOW TO WEAR BLUE DOWN THERE”      “SECRETS YOUR GUY WON’T TELL YOU”       “HOW TO KNOW WHAT HE’S REALLY THINKING”      “THE MOVE GUYS LOVE”

It’s such a fucking waste of money but I got a good deal on it, so whatever. Anyway, month after month Cosmo says “THE MOVE GUYS LOVE” is actually getting a finger up their ass. It’s supposed to stimulate the prostate for an incredible orgasm. Yeah, I don’t know how they found this out because I have actually tried to do this for the boys and they never let me anywhere near that area. They’ll twist into a pretzel before they let this happen.

When I was visiting British, we were lazing around one day, hanging out on his couch, being playful and chatting. We had just watched a South Park episode about sex addicts and Kobe Bryant was featured in it (sexual healing episode). So I told him the story I’d heard was that ALLEGEDLY the girl had gone with Kobe willingly but didn’t realize she was going to have to do anal, and at that point freaked out, said no and we kind of know the rest of that story. (On a side note – apparently athletes are often told to ‘flip’ a girl, meaning anal, so that they don’t have to worry about pregnancy if they don’t use a condom. There are soooo many things wrong with that, I can’t even…)

In any case, British and I are ready to fool around and I’m on top and I figure, well, let’s try Cosmo’s trick… I was just reaching up the back of his thigh when he grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, “Not tonight, Kobe.”




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