Savannah – part 2 (or, how my friend couldn’t get laid for the life of her)

Posted on: March 19, 2012

So, as per the post before this, we (my 3 friends (L, T, P) and I) had a fabulous time in Savannah. But we’re four girls so it wasn’t drama-free. Our first night there, we got dressed and were out drinking by about 5pm. I was dressed in a simple tee, but it was low cut enough to attract attention. Gotta put the boobs to use when I can.

As we got drunker and drunker, well, we just drank some more. We drank at a few bars, and then somehow wandered into a wine shop for a wine tasting to class things up, and then went back to the dirty bars. The crowd is young-ish and we realized we’re too old for it. We preferred to sit in the bars that were a little more expensive so that the ‘riff-raff’ was kept out. Obviously, our drunk wavering asses were not the riff-raff. That’s other people.

We met a bachelor party at the last bar we were at (this is the same group that J was a part of ) – we went to get pizza with a few of the guys and just hang out a bit more. My friend, L, started talking to J’s friend – we’ll call him M. We’re eating pizza and L says to us “Be right back” – so me, T & P hung out with J and just chatted.

T was WASTED at this point and called everyone who walked by us a ‘hooker,’ which didn’t really endear us to a lot of people. THEN! She went up to get pizza (another slice) and P offered to pay for it. T looked her dead in the eye and said: “Move the fuck away”

HA  HA HA. P took the warning and backed off, even though she was only trying to pay for it. Turned out later T somehow consumed 3 pieces of pizza (the slices were the size of our face). She had NO clue she ate so much.

So, this whole time, L & M are gone. We can’t get a text through and finally when we do, she said they were ‘at the river’.  No bar name. No distinct markers, nothing. Just ‘the river.’ The fucking river is 15 miles long! What were we supposed to do??

J (the boy I like) said he would help us find them, since it was his friend. Meanwhile, he tried to let us know that  M wasn’t a bad guy and she wasn’t in trouble – which, we weren’t really worried about. She needs some action. A bad boy would’ve been great for her. We walked like 20 miles around Savannah with no luck. We even ended up detouring to a dance-party on the street for 30 minutes. Clearly, we weren’t super worried, just annoyed. If she’d said we should leave her, we would’ve but without that consent, there was no way we were leaving.

After TWO hours of searching, we finally found them, and we’re annoyed and pissed, not only because we spent 2 hours looking for them but because in that time, ALL they did was make-out. They kissed. No boob grab, no package feel, no under the shirt action. So now, we’re even madder.

This all culminated with us 4 girls and the 2 boys standing on a block, L was crying on one side because we’d yelled at her, T was puking in a dark alley after her 6-million calorie consumption (that none of us knew about) and the rest of us just wanted a cab.  J walked down the street and rolled up with a cab, hanging out of it like fucking Teen-Wolf.

So – M&L made out, but not really. No worries, right? We still had Saturday to get her laid. Saturday night comes around and we met up with the guys briefly – they were all doing the bachelor thing, so that was fine. But M stayed with us for most of the night, which we assumed it was because he liked L.

We hung out, drank some more and let them go off on their own, with strict orders to her to let us know if she was coming home. She ended up at his place – great, right?!!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   After all that effort and time and kissing – he undid her pants, didn’t put his hands down there, didn’t take her shirt off and HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He dropped her off at 8am, chaste as she was when she left us. Poor thing. How she ended up with the last male virgin on earth in fucking Savannah on one of the drunkest days of the year is beyond us.


4 Responses to "Savannah – part 2 (or, how my friend couldn’t get laid for the life of her)"

Poor L!!! Why did you make him cry?! 😦 LOL!

HA HA HA. We didn’t MEAN to… it just happened. 😉

I cannot wait to hear the story from the mouth of the LB. Do you still harass him about it? 🙂 heehee

LOL. No… poor thing. It was so out of her control!

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