Affairs – part 2

Posted on: May 13, 2012

So I texted him today, and basically just responded line by line to his email:

“It *was* a pleasant surprise to seeing you! The scruff looked good 🙂 Would’ve been nice to chat, maybe next time.”

His text back??? “Thx!”

3 letters and an exclamation point.

I don’t know what I was expecting though. He’s a douche, has been for years… he’s cheated on at least 3 girlfriends with me (which, I know I know – hold your judgment). We were never really friends – we didn’t talk outside of our hook-ups — we’d chat occasionally, but nothing mind-blowing. We weren’t having discussions to change the world, we just kept in touch knowing we’d end up in bed at some point.

One time, he was dating a girl who was friends with a friend of mine. He was so paranoid she was going to find out… which, more than once, I pointed out that he should perhaps not be fucking me then, if he cared so much about her and how she would feel. I was always single when we had our visits, but he wasn’t. Which was odd, because although he’s cute and fun, it’s not like he is a “catch” in the normal sense of things. He’s had a DUI, he’s been in jail for said DUI, is divorced and as far as I know is currently jobless (ok, that’s not exactly his fault)…AND HE CHEATS! ALL THE TIME!

Knowing all this, I have never wanted to properly date him. But screwing him was always fair game, because we had fun together and it was never serious.

SO… one night, we’re about to get busy and out of the blue he says, “Hey, if i have a seizure after sex, do something.” And I thought he was joking, and said, “Um, what? WHY would you have a seizure?”

Turned out he’d got concussed during a football game and it was causing him to have seizures. Only me. (Well, only me and the other girls he is dating at the same time.)

And then I freaked out! Because WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!? Apparently, the answer to that was just to call 911 in case it happened. THANK GOD IT DID NOT.  I really did not want to explain that one to the paramedics.

But, since that day, when my girlfriend and I talk about him, he has always been known as “Seizes When He Comes” – it’s his “Indian” name.  😉

Was that a seizure or are you just happy to see me??


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