Posted on: May 13, 2012

In the past week, I’ve had two friends confess to me that they are having affairs with married men.  I don’t judge.

Hell, I went away on safari with a married man.  I shouldn’t have done so, I knew this the whole time – we had separate bedrooms, but only for propriety’s sake.  The first night I made him spend the night in his room. The second night, he spent it in mine. I’ll tell this story fully at some point, but I’m not in the mood to share it tonight.

It was so wrong, and I knew at the time, and I regretted it, but there is this absolute thrill of knowing that someone chooses you. That they want you. That they choose to be with you over the one they committed to be with. It’s awful to get a sense of favoritism out of it, but it happens.

Tonight, I was walking into a restaurant for a friend’s surprise birthday party and walking out was this guy who I have fucked around with for years. I haven’t seen him though in awhile… he is a proper boyfriend now, committed to the girl he loves. I don’t interfere and I don’t contact him.

Anyway, he was walking out and me and my friend ran straight into him, his girlfriend and his mom. They’d done an early mother’s day dinner and were leaving…. we said hello, chatted briefly and we went our separate ways.

I did ask my friend that I was with if I was prettier than his girlfriend… and being my friend, he said hands down I was far more gorgeous than she would ever be. My friend also said that he looked me over and seemed to be dumbstruck and that the meeting was awkward for everyone but me. I thought he was just being nice.

S0 when I checked my email a bit later, I was surprised to see this:

“Wow what a pleasant surprise…you looked beautiful. Nice seeing you! Wish we could have chatted more”

Well, we couldn’t really chat anymore because his girlfriend wasn’t too thrilled with him checking me out. And he and I have hooked up while he was in the first months of dating her (and possibly after he’d been with for awhile… I didn’t ask). Clearly she doesn’t know that….

So now what? How do I even respond to that? Do I respond at all? I’m not sure…. I don’t know what to say or do.

I don’t want to be “THAT” girl. I’ve been her before and don’t like the feelings of guilt and sadness that come along with it.  Also, there is a sense of worthlessness… if I was s0 great, why would you be with someone else and just use me for the “fun” stuff?

Like I said, I don’t know what to do… I’ll keep you posted.


3 Responses to "Affairs"

Love the picture and the post.
Are you going to respond? Maybe I’m a bitch, or still in the early stages of ‘recovering slut’–but I would respond. Even if I never intended to see him again, or go back down the road of dirty mistress… I am twisted in the way that I enjoy the fact that I still am relevant and could have him if I wanted him.
Or, I’m just a bitch. Haven’t figured that out yet.

Now following, looking forward to the future posts.

xoxo Love Addict

Thanks so much!!! Of course I’ll respond 😉 For exactly the same reasons – I like knowing that he still thinks of me, especially when they’re fucking. And I KNOW he does. I haven’t figured out what to say though… I’m open for advice!

I’ve always thought if a married man doesn’t care about his relationship I sure as hell am not gonna feel anymore responsible for it than he does especially when I’m not part of the relationship….I’ve never felt that excitement when sleeping with a married man…maybe I feel the wonderful ego boost when I hear about my sex or cooking skills being better than their wife but ultimately they go home to their wife (some haven’t that just turns into a mess) and I think that speaks volumes about where you really stand in a person’s life…if they’re hiding you then there is a reason for that

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