The Worst Breakup Stories… Ever

Posted on: May 22, 2012

Ok… these may not be the worst in the scheme of all things in the world (nobody died, nobody got acid poured on them, nobody was maimed, etc etc) however, given that these are my friends (and all true), I guess they could more correctly be called “The Worst Breakup Stories… Ever (of people I know).”

These are in no particular order, except for the last three, which were particularly heinous. So when I was crying over British (Thank GOD that has stopped) and wallowing in my grief, I would think of my friends and what they’ve been through and how ending things on Facebook may not be the worst ever, just the worst for me.

1) The Camping Trip: (As a disclaimer, I may have laughed REALLY hard when I was told this story. Because as has been established, I can be a bitch) — So, my friend went camping with her boyfriend for his birthday. They drove up to the campsite together, in his car, and met up with a bunch of friends. That night, when she wanted to pee, she asked him to walk her to the toilets. He decided that midnight, when they’re alone and next to an outhouse, was the most appropriate time to end things with her… she had no way to get home, she had no idea it was coming and she still had to spend the night in the tent with him.

What a douche, right? So a month later, when he wanted to get back together, she said no, right? NO! BECAUSE I AM FRIENDS WITH A FUCKING MORON.

They get back together and a couple of months after that, she’d moved back home. Her grandmother, who she was really close to,  passed away and she texted him, saying she really needed to chat. He called her, and after she finished crying about her grandma, he told her he wanted to end things. AFTER HER GRANDMOTHER DIED. Holy fuck. Dick did not even have the manners to wait till the next day.

We all know the saying, “fool me once, shame on you – fool me twice, same on me” – she should’ve never gotten back with him the second time. Never. We told her but girls in love are dumb. That’s a universal truth.

2)  Indian Boys Suck: My friend was on and off with her boyfriend for a few years, but that Christmas, they were definitely on. He asked her to meet him in London after his trip to India, but she couldn’t for a number of reasons. In any case, she assumed things were going fine on his trip and only got worried when she didn’t know if he was back home. When did she finally hear from him?


They never talked again.

3) White Boys Suck Too:  My friend had been dating her boyfriend for about 2 years… they met in Graduate school and were really happy together. Before she left for a trip to Africa for work, she went up north to see him and he freaked the fuck out. She wasn’t pushing for marriage (she has no desire for that), she thought everything was fine they way things were and he just flipped – said he couldn’t “do this” anymore, he couldn’t be with her and that was it. She came back to Atlanta with no idea of what happened. She left for Uganda and didn’t hear from him, even though she’d reached out to at least understand why he changed. She got back from her trip and there were no missed calls, no messages, no emails…

They never talked again.

4) The Worst, part 1:  This story is awful but just the fact that she never took it out on any other guys, that she still trusted and still believed love would find her is the most amazing part.

She’d met and fell in love with her husband at first sight… they were perfect together, everyone thought so. Not even a year into the marriage, he would travel a lot for work and she would offer to go with him. He always said no, she should stay and work on her career, there was no reason for her to take time off. He’d come home, she’d wear sexy lingerie and he’d have no interest in her (and she is gorgeous).

She eventually found out what she’d suspected: He was cheating. WITH HIS COUSIN. HIS FUCKING COUSIN.  They divorced, of course.

And you know what? She never let it get her down, I met her about a year after all of this had happened, and she wasn’t sad or crying, just very matter of fact about it and ready to move on. She’s married now to an awesome guy, and just recently had a baby girl. I am SO happy for her.

5) The Worst, part 2:  She had dated him for about a year, and been married for just a little over a year… and he’d hit her a few times. He was just a complete ass to her, as was his family. They treated her like shit – even though she worked two jobs and was studying at the same time, anything she did wasn’t enough.  She got pregnant and they tried to make it work, and then they had a fight and when their baby was 6-months old, he kicked BOTH of them out in the middle of the night. She had nowhere to go, had a baby and didn’t know what to do. She called her friend to pick her up, her brother booked her a flight back home and never looked back.

They divorced, but since he has joint custody, she still has to deal with him… and he hasn’t made it any easier on her. He’s a selfish dick, but luckily, her daughter doesn’t know that. She thinks her daddy is superman, and yeah, it kills my friend.  This weekend her daughter, who is so young but acts older than she is, said to her mom: “Mom, I know the divorce was your fault because you started all the fights. Daddy and I never fight, so I know it had to be you.”  What could she say? She can’t tell her daughter that her devoted father hit her mom. She can’t put him in that light, because her daughter adores him and she’s a good mom and wants to keep it that way.  So she bites her tongue and figures it’s her cross to bear, and her daughter will never have to know the truth about why they divorced.  In the meantime, she’s finally found love again and will hopefully be happy with her new man for the rest of her life.

6) The Worst, part 3:  She and he met their first year of college. They both grew up in the same state – they were even born in the same hospital. There were all these coincidences where they were so close to each other their entire lives and it culminated with them living in the same apartment complex when they started university. They started dating soon after meeting and they stayed dating through undergraduate, through graduate school, through jobs and careers and moves. She was committed and devoted to him, and we thought, he to her.  After 10 years of dating, he finally proposed and the wedding was amazing.  Within a year, she started to notice some weird patterns and secretiveness with him… she figured out his password and confirmed her worst fears: he was cheating.

She confronted him and he denied it, of course, until she told him she saw the email from the other girl saying she couldn’t wait to fuck him again. And then he confessed, and I don’t think she was even expecting what tumbled out of his mouth… ALL 10 YEARS. He had cheated all 10 years.  Why did he bother proposing? Marrying her? Asking her to move in? Because he thought if he did all that, he’d stop cheating.  He didn’t… he ripped her heart out instead.

When she asked if he’d used protection, he told her it was none of her business. Thankfully, she is fine. He still calls her and begs her to come home, so things can be ‘like they were.’  He’s still calls and yells at her for leaving him. Fucking asshole. I hate him the most of all of them, because I knew him the best.  She’s happy now though, being single and doing what she loves.

There’s no real point to these stories, except for that guys suck. I know women do too… but these are the stories I know and they make me so sad, because these girls are amazing.




10 Responses to "The Worst Breakup Stories… Ever"

Always hard to finish a love story! We rescue hearts to heal these disasters…

oh. my. goodness. D:


I know!! And these girls… they are doctors, lawyers, statisticians – smart AND gorgeous. If I could only post the pics to show how pretty they are… and they got treated like this? It’s awful, isn’t it… BUT… I’m sure you teach your boys better 🙂

I’ve got 2 girls actually – which means I’m deeply concerned – and from now on will be grilling all possible boyfriends on their dating history! 😉

2 girls!!! Put them in a convent now for your sake and theirs’ 😉

These men all deserve to get the crap beaten out of them. What assholes!

Seriously… just complete dicks.

I’ve learned from personal experience that a woman should ALWAYS call 911 and file a report the second a man raises a hand to her…no excuses if they really feel sorry for what they’ve done they can seek therapy and that will probably help them in sentencing but it’s not the woman’s place to feel sympathy for that…

Sorry you learned was from personal experience…. that sucks. I don’t know if she called the cops or not, I have never pushed her on it. I hope she did, but doubt it.

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