Dating while Indian – Part 1

Posted on: July 26, 2012

So I haven’t met anyone from Match yet – sent out a few emails to guys I thought were interesting and….. Do you hear the crickets? Not one response. And I’m even showing some (slight) cleavage in my picture… AND YOU KNOW HOW BIG THEY ARE! Fucking hell. If that’s not gonna work, I’m shit out of ideas.

I did get a couple of emails from guys who liked me. Siiiiiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhh.  None are really my type but since beggars can’t be choosers and all that, I chat with a few of them.  A nice seeming Muslim guy wants to go to dinner this weekend, but I don’t know if I should. Being open is one thing, bringing home a Muslim boy is still a massive no-no in this Hindu family, so what’s the point? I don’t want to lead him on, and I don’t want new friends.  I may just put it off till I get back from LONDON(!!) and hopefully he’ll be with someone else. Perhaps Match will work better for him than it does for me.

This other guy (white) emailed, and I know he’s just trying to make conversation and making a joke off my username, but he actually said this:

             “Would you mind if I called you my mango lassi (assuming we get to the point where it’s even remotely appropriate?)”

Um… no. That’s never going to be fucking appropriate. And also, it’s been 2 emails. Calm your shit down.  On the plus side, at least his grammar is correct.  (This is a mango lassi.)

There’s this fine territory when dating/talking to non-Indian guys… you’re either:

A) just a cool person that they like because of who you are (you know, like a normal relationship) OR

B) you’re this exotic conquest and they have to tell you how much they know about YOUR culture and food and about the time they went to Mumbai (because, you know, it’s not Bombay anymore, even though that’s what we still call it) and how fuckin’ cool it was: “Duuuuuuuuuuude… I did yoga on the beach in Goa with just me and my Guru-ji. It was so rad.” Or they talk ad-infinitum about their ex-girlfriend who was Indian and how they know so much about YOU because of HER.  Just… no.  Transferability doesn’t work that way…. OR

C) they go out of their way to prove how much your ethnicity DOESN’T matter.   Even British, when I was in Edinburgh, made sure that I had no illusions about why we had Indian food the last night I was there: it was NOT because I’m Indian, but because HE liked it. Or like the time I went to a comedy club with this guy who made sure I knew it wasn’t because the comedian was Indian, HE had just really wanted to go. You know the old (paraphrased) Shakespearean saying: {The gentleman} Doth protest too much.

I’m going to keep striving to find option A because the rest of it is just too much fucking work.

If only I could find someone like him (in real life, minus the drug problems + a well paying job.)


4 Responses to "Dating while Indian – Part 1"

If it’s any consolation, even when you aren’t obviously ethnic, it’s still an issue as a woman. Guys have some image of what they want to conquer and you just fit into their fantasy until you can prove there is more to you. I am exceptionally short and mixed race (though I look completely white). Guys found out and suddenly I attracted any guy that has a thing for super petite Pocahontases. Also guys that had a thing for Asian chics for some reason…even though I’m not asian at all. Ugh.

Petite Pocahontas made me laugh!! Guys are strange. There’s no getting around it!

Isn’t he paid well now thanks to the Tudors or whatever. Hey a little drug problem shouldn’t make the guy a no no 🙂 After all you are above 30 😉 JUST KIDDING lol

But are you REALLY just kidding? Actually – read this blog -it’s exactly what you just said!!!

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