Back from London

Posted on: August 7, 2012

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack!

Not necessarily happily, though. If I had my way, I’d still be in London, still soaking in the rare sunny days and not getting my layering correct so that I’m either too hot and sweaty or too cold and shivering, still reveling in the Olympic atmosphere that was everywhere, and still enjoying the chants of “Team GB!!” all around.

A few random things I noticed while there:

1) British girls love to not wear pants.  Apparently, wearing a long shirt (they ARE NOT dresses) that barely covers the cha-cha area, and then donning black (always black. Always.) panty-hose is de-rigueur these days. Um… TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS.  They are sheer pieces of fabric designed to help you stay warm, under dresses. THEY ARE NOT TO BE WORN ALONE. WITHOUT SOMETHING COVERING THEM. LIKE A DRESS.

Seriously, Brits, WTF? I don’t want to see the pantyhose thigh-line that doesn’t get covered. I don’t want to think of how you sit down at a restaurant or on the tube, in just tights, your nether regions being barely protected and how I might sit there after you. And what about when you get a run in those tights? Then what? Do you just take them off and stroll around London in your semi-long-ish shirt, that is still not a dress???   (Ha! I’m not the only one who feels this way.)

2) They take their cycling seriously. Super seriously. Not just in the Olympics, but in the bike lanes too. They will mow your ass down if you dare walk in the “bike only” lane. While I understand it’s bike-only (and no, this didn’t happen to me, but saw it plenty of times), given the influx of visitors from all over the world, you think they’d cut some slack on certain things. Yes, it’s annoying to have all these tourists in your country that don’t know the rules, I totally understand that, but is there a need to be so unpleasant about it? I think not.  I knew this from ‘dating’ British, but I didn’t realize it applied to the whole country. Now it totally makes sense how he had money for fixing his bike but not for taking me to dinner. Totally.

3) The Brits are among the most self-deprecating, self-flagellating group of people, ever.  The interviews by the BBC after the events were sort of amazing. The athletes can barely breathe, they just competed and won/lost/lost out on a gold by seconds/whatever, and the BBC pundits ask questions like: “Are you disappointed in yourself?” Listen, you little twat – they just competed in the Olympics. Yes, they’re upset if things didn’t go well, but don’t lead them on with those questions! And then… the responses. Most Americans would say something to the effect of : “Yeah, I’m disappointed — I tried my best, it just wasn’t good enough today.”

The Brits? You get this: “I’m so sad. I let myself down. My family down. All that training was a waste of time. I could’ve been spending time with my family instead of training for a match I would lose.”

Holy fuck, man. You didn’t kill someone. You just didn’t place in your event. It’s ok.  Really, it’s ok. (I tried to find this interview but couldn’t – if I find it, will update with a link. It was with the BBC’s Phil Jones and I don’t remember the runner, but it was in the Athletics competitions.)

On a personal note – I knew this from ‘dating’ British as well. We were chatting one night, and he, in a heavily drunken state made reference to the size of his “member” not being that impressive. And how I should know that up-front. Well, alrighty then. I mean, sure, it’s better to not lie about it, but isn’t that just odd? And totally so opposite of what an American boy would say, which would be something to the effect of: “Yeah, I need Magnums.”  (And no, it wasn’t impressive. Neither were his moobs.)

4) The stupid Olympics ticketing system was a piece of shit. We tried, with NO luck, to get tickets to anything, anywhere. You know what error message we kept getting? “Tickets for this event will be released on June 8.” IT’S AUGUST.  It was so annoying to be in Hyde Park, watching Andy Murray and Serena Williams play on the big screens (obviously, not each other), and see empty seats in the stands. We would’ve waited in queue for hours if we had to, but no. They decided that they only way people would get tickets was online, via a system that crashed continuously. Even the locals were complaining as they’d all had the same issues we had.

For all those little points, everyone was super proud and patriotic, regardless of what country they were from, and everyone was really welcoming. We had an amazing time – the city was clean and prepared for the tourists, they had hundreds of volunteers, all easily found in bright pink, who would answer any stupid question we had, and the signage everywhere was just fantastic – we couldn’t have got lost if we tried. I am so glad I had the experience. Will post pictures soon 🙂

For now, here’s London Bridge with the O-rings – a picture I took on our last day. Just awesome.







11 Responses to "Back from London"

this is hilarious to read – i just love your writing style. I have to say i live in london and i would love to know where you were staying. one thing not all of us dress like that – i understand it’s quite common though. Umm maybe you need to watch a bit more olympics – i mean maybe that particular athlete was very tough on himself and what’s the point in hiding what their feeling. But it’s good know you enjoyed your stay

Thanks!! 🙂 I stayed in the Victoria Station area, which I loved. I actually loved everything about the stay, which maybe didn’t come across as much as it should’ve in this post. I was really not happy to have to leave. As for the athlete, my point was just that why don’t the interviewers give them some time to reflect, recoup and get their breath back before asking them questions! I actually just saw there have been some complaints against the BBC for trying to force the emotions from the athletes for a “good” interview, which is just kind of shitty to do.

oh now i understand what you mean – i totally agree and i believe that the victoria station area is quite a posh place === cool though

Brilliant summary of us Brits! Especially the bit about beating ourselves up about not winning medals (mind you the losers were shit). As for cycling I enjoy mowing those bastards down on the morning commute!

LOL! The losers were shit, but they’re still better at their sport than 99.99% of the world! Getting beat by the top tier isn’t so bad, in the scheme of things! And honestly, the Londoners could not have been more welcoming, even when trying to hit people with their bikes. 😉 At least it’s done with a pleasant accent!

Haha! 🙂 You got it all spot on – can’t help but love the place though. Glad you enjoyed your trip across the pond.

The one thing that my friend noticed the last time she visited was that we had 2 taps in the bathroom. My response was a puzzled “who doesn’t have two taps in the bathroom??”. Apparently most of the world!! Who knew?!!!

Oh!! The two tap thing!!! We were lucky enough to have a single tap at our hotel, but we met some Italian guys (completely different post that will be written soon), and their exact words were: “Why are there-a two faucets? You either burn-a your hand-a or you freeze-a your hand-a! It’s-a impossible to get it right-a!!” My friend and I almost peed ourselves laughing!

I dont know how people could wear no pants even if it is semi warm over there Id freeze !! The Aussies are having a bit of a whinge about how badly we are doing this Olympics too .. considering about 3/4 of this country is obese I really don’t think they have the right to complain lol 🙂

I bust out laughing at the 3/4 being obese… so then everyone who’s fit is actually at the Os??? 😉

Pretty much 😀 LOL Xx

I soooooo agree with the whole tights pants thing. I too blame Britain, but also various asian Countries. All those foreign (see: like 90% east asian) students at my university ran around in long shirts, tights, and ankle booties in the MIDDLE OF A CANADIAN WINTER.
It’s not just bad fashion sense. It’s dangerous. Don’t be an idiot.

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