“You need a boob reduction”

Posted on: September 4, 2012

I went home this weekend to my parents’ place, and with my brother’s upcoming wedding, I thought it would be a good time to take down all my shoes, saris, and punjabis that I’m planning on wearing for the festivities.

Sunday afternoon was the dress rehearsal of clothes – see if anything didn’t fit, needed to be let out or taken in, and how it looked overall.

We pulled the clothes I thought would I would wear and then started trying stuff on – I need 4 main outfits for the just the Indian wedding stuff: the mendhi night, the puja, the wedding and the reception. Sari’s are just six yards of material, so they’ll always drape fine, no matter how much you weigh or how tall you are. It’s the blouses that need to fit perfectly, otherwise the whole ensemble just looks sloppy.

The first sari blouse I tried on was great – it was a ready-made* blouse that was made to “fit all” so it was actually big on me. YES. Mom took the measurements on how much she need to take it in and we were on a great start. (*Usually, blouses are made to measure – a tailor takes measurements and the resulting blouse fits exactly like it’s supposed to – tight, but not vulgar, just a perfect silhouette).

The next few outfits didn’t go so well… blouse after blouse didn’t fit. Me and mom were in giggles…. Then I brought out this sari that I bought 7 years ago, and the blouse that had been stitched, specifically for me. I fell in love with it in India and had been saving it for my engagement. Uhhh yeah. Time to give that dream up, so I figured it’s now or never to wear it (I totally did not tell my mom that’s why I had originally bought it, otherwise she would’ve cried and wailed and wouldn’t have let me use it for this event).  Seven years is a long time, but I really did not think my body had changed so drastically.

THE BLOUSE WOULD NOT CLOSE. And when I say it wouldn’t close, I mean that I couldn’t get the buttons in the front anywhere close to each other. Imagine putting on a front clasp bra, but not getting the clasps withing 6 inches of each other.  Mom let the blouse out as much as she could and handed it back.

It was about 2 inches closer, but again, nowhere near closing… we could not stop laughing. I, in my bra only, hand it to my mom who’s sitting at the sewing machine and we’re both still giggling and mom looks at me and goes: “You need a … boob…. reduction.”

I FELL OVER LAUGHING. I couldn’t stop. Then she goes, “Maybe go with someone who wants to be bigger.” MOM! It doesn’t work that way!

We had the giggles through the rest of the outfit changes because things that fit just over a year ago no longer fit at all. It didn’t matter if the buttons were front clasp or back, because they were like opposing magnets.

In the end, I had to choose my outfits based on what fit, which worked out fine. I’m happy with what I’m wearing. I’m not so happy that 8 of the 10 lbs that I’ve gained has gone to the boobs.  They were already big to start with!

And then, because the clothing needs for this wedding weekend never ends, my brother had told us that for the second ceremony (the Christian one) we have to wear dresses, not Indian outfits (but not mom and the older aunties – they can still wear saris. I cannot even imagine my mom in a dress! That’s crazy.)   In any case, I have plenty of dresses – but they’re all strapless. So I told mom that, and she immediately goes, “Oh no. You can’t wear that.”  MOM. I KNOW. I don’t want to spill out of my dress in front of our family! Now I have to find a  Mormon-chic dress that’s family appropriate.

The next day, we’re at my cousin’s place and my mom says to L: “You look like you’ve lost weight.” Then she whispers, “But not CurryLove. She gained. A lot.” OH MY GOD MOM. It’s 10 lbs! Not 30!!!

We were finishing up with lunch (dosas) and mom was helping in the kitchen, so I went over to see if she wanted me to take over. She asks, “Did you have two?” I said, “No, just one and a half. L and I split the last one. You already told me I need to lose weight.” And she giggles, POINTS AT MY BOOBS and says, “Yeah, especially THERE.”

OMG. Add my mom to the list of people obsessed with my tits.

In my defense, I get nothing but compliments on them! From guys and girls! My friend A thought they were actually fake but then realized as a good Indian girl, that couldn’t be true. She didn’t know then that I wasn’t so good 😉

And Teen Wolf, upon seeing them unleashed, god bless him, said: “I couldn’t have imagined more perfect breasts if I tried.”

Even British, who had only seen a semi-naughty picture of them in a bra and then got to see them in real life said: “Jesus. That picture really did not do you justice.”

And this guy that I dicked around with for awhile: “Man, I’m more of an ass guy, but your tits really are amazing.”

Of course, I didn’t tell my mom all of this. I figure that she doesn’t need to know all of the comments I’ve ever received.  I will keep those for myself (and all my friends that I tell. And all of you that read this.) 🙂

But in the end, I really just try not to think about what’s going to happen sooner rather than later:


3 Responses to "“You need a boob reduction”"

As long as you tuck them into your panties, you’ll be fine. 😉


Well it works who wants chafed nipples from them dragging the floor. I should know. I am 34 GG by God’s hand, not by choice. What can you do? Lucky I was blessed to not have to tuck…yet. I am 34 now…when I am 40, I will fill you in if the tucking has started.

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