“Make a plan”

Posted on: June 15, 2013

I’m in Dar es Salaam for work – the last time I was here, it was in the throes of things ending with British. I was miserable, crying all the time when I was outside of work hours and had no f’ing idea of what was going on with him. I was a wreck.

I’ve always hated that he/us/it was what I thought of every time I thought of Tanzania. It had left such a bitter feeling in me towards this city, and I’ve wanted to make new memories here ever since.

This time, it’s kind of awesome — the trip has been far better than I expected and I have helped “develop capacity” more so in this last week than in 6 years of international work. It’s been rewarding and gratifying and I’ve loved every exhausting second of it. For the first time in a long time, I might actually help make a difference. But in any case…

Tonight, I took a taxi home after dinner with a friend (who moved out here) and the taxi driver and I were just chatting – he asked if I was married and had kids, and I said no to both. He’s 32 and has a 3 year old daughter, but not married.

He asks how old I am, I tell him the truth and he says:

“Ay! You are 35! You must make a plan! It’s too hard at 35/40 to do it. You must do it now. Before it’s too late.”

What the hell. Did he talk to my mom before I got in the cab??? Does she have spies the world over?!?!?!?! 

It was cute though, how he was so insistent. I explained that I have to be married before I have kids, and he explained how it’s important to prove fertility – then “you are STRONG” and women like that.

Seriously though, how am I getting lectured by random taxi drivers who are younger than me?  How is that possible? Where on my face does it say I want to hear this stuff???

Also, one of my coworkers who’s here on this trip is an older Indian male, a lot like my Dad. And he asked if I was married/had kids, and when I said no, he said,

“It’s really hard past a certain age. People are too picky. It’s just going to get harder.”

The thing is, whether I want to hear it or not, it’s the truth. I need to make a plan, stop being picky and make it happen. I did it for work (just got what I wanted) and now I need to do it for my personal life. It’d be so nice to know that I had someone at home waiting for me to get back, someone who loved and wanted me. Hopefully one day.

In the meantime, I’ll be using this soap daily in hopes of attracting the right person. He’ll be “satisfied with the results!”  😉





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