Guys say the darndest things

Posted on: October 11, 2013

Yesterday, I did a bit of shopping, even though I’m not supposed to be shopping at all. Oops.

Anyway, the cashiers both happened to be young gentlemen, probably in their late teens, definitely no older than 20, and I overheard them talking about Kanye being on Jimmy Kimmel’s show.  (Sidenote: I actually watched that night, and he (Kanye) was freaking exhausting! How can one person have an opinion on EVERYTHING? Doesn’t it get tiring at some point to care SO MUCH about SUCH STUPID STUFF?)

So when I went upfront to purchase my new clothes that I don’t need, I mentioned I overheard them talk about Kanye and then this happened:

Young cashier #1:

“Yeah, I think he’s going through menopause. Probably because he’s married to a Kardashian. He’s so cranky!”

Young cashier #1, again:

“And it turns out Lamar Odom passed his drug test! He’s not doing drugs. He’s just crazy because of that family!”

I’m absolutely giggling at this point, and then, this gets said:

Young cashier #2:

“I mean, look at Taylor Swift. She just dates guys to write songs about them when they break-up. Maybe if all those guys dump you, it’s YOU who’s the problem, not them?”

I seriously have new found hope for the future. They were awesome. And so efficient at checking me out as well! AND FOLDED MY CLOTHES BETTER THAN I EVER WILL! It’s the little things that make me happy.

BUT… let’s contrast that with the guys that are MY age.

I met a friend of a friend when I was in Dar es Salaam, and we ended up having dinner with a bunch of his friends. It was really fun and awesome and we were all well into multiple drinks, when the friend of a friend of a friend says this:

“Yeah, I gotta pick this girl up at the airport tomorrow and we’re going to Zanzibar for the weekend. Siiiigggghhhhhhh. I’m not even excited.”

Then he looks at me and goes,

“You know, if you want to keep a guy interested, don’t have sex with him.”

OMG. IS THAT WHAT I’M DOING WRONG? WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL! I should just string someone along because that’s the only way to keep them interested?  I mean, COME ON.   (Although, yes, it’s clearly true and as I told him, I’ve learned that lesson more than I’d like to admit.)

And then, because shit like that isn’t bad enough to hear, I got a final email from the last guy my parents wanted me to talk to, and it said this:

“Hey, so I just want you to know that I’m really looking for someone 3-4 years younger than me. Thanks, and good luck in your search.”


First of all, can he not read? My age and birth-date were readily available for him to see in the first email exchange. Secondly, please tell me what difference those 3 years makes?


And it’s not even that I actually want to talk to him, or date him, or have sex with him, but it’s fucking offensive that WE’RE THE SAME AGE BUT I’M TOO OLD.


However…… it is Friday night, I just finished doing dishes, and am watching a Bon Jovi concert on VH1 classic.  Fuck it. Bring on the Ensure, bitches…. just lace it with some vodka.






2 Responses to "Guys say the darndest things"

Hahaha! This fits in with a “losing hope in the future” conversation I heard today when I was shopping. I was walking in front of 2 guys – I’d guess 17 years old but no more than 19:
Guy 1: So she’s still with her boyfriend?
Guy 2: Yeh she’s still seeing Daniel
Guy 1: Even though he cheated on her?
Guy 2: He only did it twice
Guy 1: True, true. At least she still has a boyfriend
Guy 2: That’s what I say too.

Kids nowadays are starting to sound like my aunties…

Lol!!!!! Maybe we should have thought like that when we were younger? 😉

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