It’s been how long?

Posted on: November 22, 2013

I hadn’t realized it’d been almost a month since I wrote a post! It wasn’t on purpose – I just have a seriously boring life right now. I went home for my 36th birthday, and it was perfect. Mom cooked everything I wanted, had some cake and ice cream with family, and that was about it. No gifts, no surprise party, no drunken night out.

I haven’t had a date since…. The Bod. And I haven’t got laid since then either. It’s been awhile for everything, it seems.

And I’ve got so apathetic about it all, I don’t even care. No guy around? Great! No shaving the legs or getting a regular Brazilian either! No guy around? Awesome! I can live in a pig sty and there’s no one to judge.

On the “trying” side, I did get on Tinder. Holy Fuck. Even that’s goddamn useless.

Here’s every conversation I’ve had on there:

Him: Hey

Me: Hey

Him: How are you?

Me: Fine, Thanks! You?

…… couple of days go by ….

Him: Hey



There’s one super cute guy, who’s…20. And makes overtures about actually asking me out but hasn’t done so. And considering I could literally be his mother, I think I’m ok with that.

And then… there was this conversation with another guy, closer to my age, cute, and had potential…until this:


So, what do you like to do for fun


Same things as everyone, new bars, restuarants, hang out with friends, etc.


Me too!


Well, if you need someone to enjoy that stuff with, let me know.


Well, if you want to come up with a plan for any of that, you let me know. 😉


I’m beat. Staying in tonight.


Yeah – I didn’t mean tonight. I’ve got plans. I meant in general. And if not, that’s cool too. Either way.


I wouldn’t mind. Let me know.


NO MOTHER FUCKER. I WILL NOT LET YOU KNOW.  And also, you “wouldn’t mind?” Am I supposed to be flattered by that?

When are these guys going to fucking man up and ask someone out? I get that this is mostly for hookups, but jesus. I can’t even get asked THAT.

Also, my plans were staying in, being in my pajamas by 6pm, eating my burrito and catching up on my DVR. Missions accomplished.










3 Responses to "It’s been how long?"

Oh for fuck’s sake, these men…! Seriously. Glad you’re back!

“Men”… 😉 Thanks, chicky! I hadn’t realized how much time had passed while I was doing nothing!

Haha boys is better indeed. Sometimes doing nothing is the best you can do! 🙂

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