Arranging Marriages, Part 38 – (aka, Stop giggling, DAD)

Posted on: December 9, 2013

So my dad is still in love with this random guy, because Dad talked to the guy and the guy was nice on the phone and apparently my Dad’s a slut, because a few kind words are all it takes to get Dad all lovey-dovey.

Apple doesn’t fall far….

ANYWAY, I had emailed him, per Dad’s behest, the guy emailed me back pretty quickly and then it took a few days for me to write him back. I’m sure he’s nice, but he’s FOB and 40-something and in school for his Bachelors and he’s not at the top of my priority list right now.

So his next email to me, after a few niceties, says this:

I was wondering if i had sent my reply to a wrong email or what?! I suppose you were busy and thats the reason for the 3-4 days for u to reply.

Um…FUCK.YOU.  WHO SAYS THAT? I mean, it hadn’t been like 5 weeks. It was 4 business days! I wrote him first thing on Saturday when I got the chance! Not that I should already have to defend myself – and yes, if I was slightly more interested, I probably would’ve been faster about it, so maybe I deserved that comment.
Then he writes:

Ok then, i will major in Psych & My college time depends on how soon my credits are completed — at least till 2015 i suppose


As my friend, T, pointed out – He’s got this sense of urgency about me emailing him back, yet doesn’t seem to see a need to finish college or get more than a full time job. (I think he’s part time financial planner or something.)

And 2015?!?!?!?! WHAT. THE. FUCK.  He’s not even fast-tracking this shit! Like, maybe, he’ll graduate in 2015, if he decides that’s what he want?

IS HE GOING TO TAKE OUR BABIES TO CLASS WITH HIM? Cause I’m clearly going to have to be the one working and earning money while he’s “finding himself.”

So then, on Saturday, as the whole family is group-skyping, Dad brings up if I’d heard from him – and then he starts giggling and says,

“Do you want to meet him when you come home?”

A little explanation here – in very conservative households, typically the first meeting between a boy and girl is held between the two families, and if things go well between the parents, the children are allowed to go off and “meet” alone – which is really just in a separate room, with a chaperone near by.

I, clearly, have never done this and Dad knows that I won’t – and I think it cracks him up to continually push this FOB on me.

Again, as T said, “He knows his educated well employed daughter is NOT going to marry a loafer!”

I mean, I hope Dad knows this! Partly I think he just gets a kick out of seeing me get SO ANNOYED when he asks about, and partly I think he’s hoping I give up/in and say, “Fine, I’ll meet him.”

AND! ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT!!! What are we gonna do??? Go on a group date? Dad’s retired on social security and FOB is in college. I’LL HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!

AND! ON TOP OF, ON TOP OF ALL THAT!!! FOB doesn’t drink.

This is doomed.






2 Responses to "Arranging Marriages, Part 38 – (aka, Stop giggling, DAD)"

A FOB 40 something man just now pursuing his Bachelors? Girl, you don’t want that!!!

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