currylove

Arranging Marriages – Part 39 (aka, Sliding Doors)

Posted on: December 31, 2013

“She has such a big house – 7 bed and 7 bath!”

That’s what my mom told me today about this daughter of a family friend. I know her – we were on the marriage circuit together years ago, but she caught the diamond ring and got off the dating carousel.

And in my mom’s defense, she wasn’t saying “SHE has a SEVEN bedroom HOUSE and YOU LIVE BY YOURSELF IN A SMALL FLAT. LIKE A LOSER.”

That’s just my own interpretation of what I heard, because that’s how *I* feel. I don’t even want a house that big. Anyway, Mom was just catching me up on this girl’s life.

And it’s not a competition… but it is. It totally is. And that could have been me, but it’s not. And I know my parents wish it was me, and it fucking kills me, for them and me, that it’s not.

A few years back, my friends tried to set me up with the same guy that SHE eventually married. I never even met the guy – I’d already moved to Atlanta, and there wasn’t a clear cut way to get us to “bump into each other” and have it work out.

SHE met him at a bar because they lived in the same town. And they got married and she just had her second kid, probably delivered by him because he’s a doctor.

AND IT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR.

It’s not fair that WordPress just sent me my “Congrats on two years of blogging” note because NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED.

And this New Year is coming, and like every New Year it holds so much promise for everyone else. But I don’t think for me. And that’s not being fatalist, it’s being real. I can’t keep hoping/trying to get things to change, because I’m so fucking disappointed when they don’t.

So these are my resolutions: Be truly happy without someone. Don’t let the pressure get to me. Realize that this might be it – me, myself and I forever. And learn to be ok with it, even though it’s not what I ever wanted.

 

EDITED TO ADD: Ok, I was going to leave it there and just post that. But I can’t. It’s fucking depressing and I do believe you get what you put out in the world. So I’m not going to start 2014 so negatively. I have to have hope and I have to believe and I’ll keep playing this numbers game of dating, and I’ll keep writing about it. So, Dear Readers, Happy New Year to you. I hope 2014 is nothing but the best, and that it only gets better – for all of us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 Responses to "Arranging Marriages – Part 39 (aka, Sliding Doors)"

I hope it does bring you love and everything you hope for; but being happy without someone is a good start I’d say. Maybe it’ll take the pressure of a bit. (Says the other single that hates it)
Happy new year!

Being happy without someone is easier in some ways! 😉 can’t wait to read about what new adventures await us in the dating world !!

I loved your added edit – Happy New Year, and I genuinely hope that you have happiness in 2014. Know you have a fan always cheering you on. 🙂

Awww thanks!!! Happy new year to you as well 🙂 Virtual cheers to a fabulous 2014!!

I know how that feels, I have been going through something very similar. But I have reached that place in my life where I am really happy being single. I don’t think being single is such a bad thing, really. Though I think in some societies there is too much pressure to be coupled (like in US). My wake up call came when one of my best friends husband passed away a year ago, she was just 30 with a year old kid.
There are so many people who love us friends, family. To think I am incomplete because I don’t have one special person in my life is just not right.

You’re totally right – I try to keep that perspective and really appreciate being loved by those who know me and care. And I’m so sorry for your friend! That’s so tragic 😦

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