Match Redux – Part 2 (aka, WTF)

Posted on: July 24, 2014

I have no intro for this post, let’s just go straight to the weirdo. This was the first email I got from an Indian guy on Match:

Hey There,
I came across your profile and it was a good read…a hedonist at heart; and that’s not a sarcastic remark…We are similar

Sorry in advance if this comes of random, not my style. =) But I will be in Atlanta on July 24-27 and thought it would be a great idea to meet. Maybe meet for Fun drinks, almond milk, Metamucil, or the green concoction dr. oz makes, just no yager-bombs please! To be completely honest, I am not looking for a cheap hookup and i apologize in advance if it comes of any other way; my intention is to meet and being open to he possibility of “what if”. what if we get married and have 7 unborn boys! ;P

What are your thoughts to this? Am I being ridiculous? I hope this message finds you well



Ok…  completely over the top, Jager is spelled wrong, random regular words are capitalized and misspelled, I think he *is* looking for a cheap hook up and stream of consciousness is exactly his style.


And why would we have 7 unborn boys? Is he wishing miscarriages on me?


Or… is he a FOB pretending to NOT be a FOB by saying things he thinks someone born here would say? (Yes, the answer is yes to the FOB question. The 7 unborn boys…I have no fucking idea. I give up trying to understand these nutcases.)


But, I am desperate, as we know. So I responded with this:

Hello! I don’t think we use the word “hedonist” in the same way, because I don’t think that’s what I am… but I guess it’s not a bad thing…

Sure, I’d be up for meeting when you’re here. What will you be in town for?

And yes, it does look like you’re looking for a cheap hook up, but since I”m not, no worries about that 😉



I didn’t expect much of a response, since I basically told him he doesn’t understand what words mean, but I got this:



thanks for your warm email, It’s what any man coming into a new city would want to feel. Your email really was sweet and made me feel special. I want to take a crazy leap with you.if you are around, I want to see you both days for sure. AM I bring crazy, it’s the only way to be. I’m smiling.

I’m coming for a big family function on Saturday; can I sneak you in? Are you spontaneous enough? I am staying at the XYZ hotel in midtown.

What are you thoughts of long distance relationship? Would you come visit me in NYC??

Let’s graduate to phone & text. What’s your number? My cell is xxx-xxx-xxxx.



NO. I DID NOT TEXT HIM. (Or even email him back after that … I’m open to a lot, but this is just like inviting a stalker in.)





Seriously, what is he on? God.  He’s already exhausting with his “crazy leap” and “see you for both days for sure.”


And yes, he is bringing the crazy. BIG TIME.








5 Responses to "Match Redux – Part 2 (aka, WTF)"

Yuck, that gives me the shivers!

I know!!! What a creep!!!! Match sucks.

I know! What a creep!

OMG! I got the EXACT same emails from this guy on Match. What a weirdo. I didn’t answer him either after the second email! Indian guys are SO weird…

Wow. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised since it never made sense. Lol. What a douche!

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