The Fifth Wheel

Posted on: December 13, 2014

I had dinner tonight with two couples.  Yup. Two couples and me. I had not wanted to go at all,  but it was a friend’s birthday and I had no legitimate reason not to go. So there I was – the oddball. The single. The always alone. They didn’t make me feel this way though, it’s my own insecurity coming out.

Of the two couples,  one is a ‘we’er – “we went here” or “we think this.” There’s only so much of that that *I* can take before I feel like punching something.

But they met on tinder and are moving in together and good for them. I can’t begrudge anyone that happiness.

Meanwhile, over the course of the last three weeks I’ve had three guys (two married men and one in a committed relationship) tell me how their significant others have told them to go find sex elsewhere. 

What the fuck.

How could you tell the person that you chose to be with that they should get their intimacy elsewhere?  I don’t get it. But all three guys says the same thing: sex doesn’t matter to her, so she thinks this is the best option.

To their credit,  none of them want to screw around outside their relationship. They’ve just resigned themselves to a lifetime of unhappiness.

It’s tough to see and realize that I may need to make similar choices.  I don’t know that I’ll ever find what I’m looking for,  or if I even know what that is anymore.  So maybe I just need to take what I can get (aka, guy from Philly) and be marginally satisfied.  It seems no matter where you start, that’s where you end up. You’re either alone-alone or in a relationship-alone. I don’t know which is worse.


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