currylove

The Best Tofu Ever

Posted on: February 10, 2015

So when Philly was here, we went on our bar crawl. After drinking many many many drinks, we decided to take a break for some food.

We found some seats and asked our bartender what he liked better: the tofu tacos or the tofu philly cheesesteak.

He said he liked the tacos, but we blew off his recc and went with the philly.

Out comes our food and I take a big drunken bite.

It’s delicious. I literally thought:

This is the best tofu I’ve ever had!

And then, we looked at the food.

And even looking at it, I couldn’t figure out how they made the tofu so delicious and yummy and …brown.

And then Philly double checked with the bartender that we actually had the tofu version of the cheesesteak and not the beefy version.

Turns out the reason the tofu was so damn delicious was because it was MEAT.

I haven’t had red meat in about 20 years.

OMG. WHAT HAVE I BEEN MISSING?

Now, I’m not reverting to a carnivore any time soon, and I was PISSED about the mix-up. But, we should’ve checked our food and not trust some dummy behind the bar, who chalked it up to ‘miscommunication.’

But what really pissed me off? MORE than being given something I haven’t eaten in two decades?? THE ASSHOLE TRIED TO CHARGE US FOR THE FOOD.

They did replace it with the not-so-delicious tofu version but actually still tried to make us pay.

In my drunken state, I think I said the following:

There is no way in fucking hell that I’m paying for something that I didn’t order and didn’t want to eat.

He took it off the bill but after he acted like WE were in the wrong for even suggesting that it shouldn’t be a charge.

Meanwhile, this has happened before (and I expect it, and I’m typically more careful when I haven’t been drinking for hours at a time) and THAT time? The waitress not only apologized a dozen times to the point where it was uncomfortable, she comped my WHOLE meal, not just the food portion. It’s just decent customer service, you know?

AND OMG.

As I’m typing this out… is this whole mix up a metaphor for my life?!?!!? 

I didn’t want the boring bland Asian food pretending to be something it’s not.

BUT I LOVED THE ALL AMERICAN MEAT.

Maybe I need to be more honest with myself?

I mean, I’m not going back to meat but I don’t enjoy tofu – so why do I keep trying?

And I don’t like dating the Indian boys I’ve met –  so why do I keep trying?

 

 

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1 Response to "The Best Tofu Ever"

[…] when Philly was here, we’d been out to a bar where we ended up chatting with young guy (as in, […]

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