currylove

Yes, I know it’s me – part 6 (aka, It’s over)

Posted on: March 2, 2015

I know… it should’ve been over awhile back. But I didn’t have the balls to do it*.

And, it’s not like we’ve been talking every night since Philly visited. Mostly he calls or texts, and I ‘forget’ to call or text him back. Again, I know. Awful.

So anyway, we finally chatted tonight and after some bullshit, he just flat out asked:

Do you think this is going anywhere? What are you feeling?

I mean – to his credit, he doesn’t beat around the bush.

And I stuttered out my thoughts, which went something like:

Ummmmm, well, I didn’t really feel like there was any chemistry, did you? I mean, I don’t know… what do you think?

And he  goes,

Well, I really had a lot of fun with you but I wasn’t sure how you felt. Did you want to meet again? I mean, I definitely feel like you’re a keeper, as opposed to you know, a FOB.

I really wanted to tell him AGAIN that FOBs are just people. Like us!

But I had other things I needed to un-eloquently say:

That’s really nice, but ummmm. I don’t know. Ummmm…. I just didn’t think we had chemistry and I’m not sure if we should spend any more money and time given we live so far apart. I mean, not that we should let finances dictate things, but you know, umm…. well, like… I just think we’re better as friends.

In some ways, it’s good he brought it up because I clearly would’ve never said anything and just kept not calling or texting back in a timely manner*.  And I did like that straightforwardness about him. But I didn’t like anything else 😦

I was also really hoping he’d say he didn’t feel any chemistry either but no, he kept putting it back on me and then said:

Well when I was there that weekend, I didn’t know if we were just friends or you know, maybe the next level.

I DIDN’T HOLD HIS HAND BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO TAKE IT OUT OF MY COAT POCKET.

HOW DID HE THINK THERE WAS ANYTHING GOING ON?

So again, I had to state that I thought there wasn’t anything else more.

And with that, he said his goodbyes, said the lie we all tell everyone, that we’d stay friends — and got off the phone.

I do feel bad. Worse than I thought it would, but because I’m all about me – I feel worse that here’s another one that should’ve worked but didn’t and it’s me.

It’s me me me me me. Because he would’ve made this work. It’s ME that couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t.

Sigh.

*Meanwhile, here’s Garfunkel and Oates summing up just everything about me, this whole situation and being a woman in general (Fade Away).

 

 

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4 Responses to "Yes, I know it’s me – part 6 (aka, It’s over)"

Hi! I enjoyed reading your post and I could definitely relate. If the chemistry wasn’t there, it wasn’t there. That has nothing to do with you doing anything right or wrong. And from my own personal dating experience, guys can get as prematurely excited as girls can, and when they do they don’t get any of the signals you’re sending.

Thanks (& love your avatar – daria was ahead of her time! )!! You’re right, and i would’ve never made it one month of really being with him so i know it’s for the best. It’s just hard and annoying to have another one not work. But better this way for sure 🙂

I’m right there with ya, this dating thing can get old after a while. But there are only two options as I see it. Give up, in which case mostly likely nothing will happen, or keep putting myself out there which at least has a better chance of leading to something.

I’m right there with you! Fingers crossed for both of us 🙂

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