Still Trying…because I suck at ending things

Posted on: November 4, 2015

So Mumbly called tonight. Why did he call? Because I haven’t had the balls to end things. I suck at it. I always hope they just get sick of me and end it themselves.

But it didn’t, so he called and flat out asked if I wanted to visit him.

No, I do not.

But I didn’t just say that. I stumbled and bumbled through why I thought we aren’t a match – focusing on the fact that we have a really hard time connecting and talking. He said he thinks that’s normal.

NO! It’s not! For a first date, to run out of topics? NO. We should be laughing and giggling and telling stories, not eating cake in silence.

I also said the distance was difficult, to which he pointed out rightly that I knew it was long distance to start with – he’s right, I did. So I couldn’t use it as a cop out.

I went back to the “I think we just have different personalities” – and he said, “well yeah, if you’re looking for someone better than me.”

THAT WAS NOT WHAT I SAID! I told him, “I didn’t mean better. I really meant different. We are just different, neither better nor worse.”

It broke my heart he said that, because I don’t really think that at all. But what has he been told before by other girls?

My parents are coming to stay for a bit, so I told we could “regroup” in December and see where things stand. First of all, why am I talking like I’m setting up a fucking work meeting? AND WHY DOESN’T THAT BOTHER HIM? It should.

But, I suck at ending things. And he doesn’t want to end things. So now it’s this awful limbo that I put him in and I feel guilty.

On the flip side… there’s no one knocking down my door. There’s no one that I’m dating. There’s not a better option. So maybe it’s good I didn’t end things completely? Maybe I should see where this mumbliness goes? We can be silent and mumbly together, with me thinking it’s weird and he thinking it’s normal???

I mean, that sounds horrible but the alternative is single forever.


2 Responses to "Still Trying…because I suck at ending things"

End things asap. I had a similar experience once, he was mumbly but there was no spark,he was nice, but no spark. My sister convinced me to meet him a couple of times and because he was nice I felt obliged to do so. When you start feeling obliged to do anything it’s time to jump ship! I am like you, I hate ending things – but I ended it and face to face at that. Luckily for me I had the moving away excuse, but even then he was like we could try and see to which I said I just don’t think my heart is in it. You will feel bad for ending it – especially because he has thrown in the whole you’re trying to find someone better than me comment! But seriously my advice would be end it, it will be uncomfortable, but the sense of relief after is good! Hope this helps 🙂

I also realised I put he was mumbly – I meant he wasn’t lol, although a bit quite at the start – which also, it could have been your guy was nervous?

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