Tinder – Date #1 (aka, I’m going to die alone)

Posted on: March 9, 2016

A couple of weeks ago, I recreated my facebook profile because I needed to get back on Tinder and try Bumble. I’m not meeting anyone in real life, and relying on the Indian dating websites was sucking the life out of me. So, I got back on facebook under the pretense of joining just to keep up with pics of my nieces and nephews (which is partially true, I do love seeing more pics of them now), but really it was so I could get back to dating like a person in 2016.

One of the first guys I chatted with on Tinder caught my attention immediately – intelligent, funny, cute and our texting was actually really witty and smart. I was excited, but trying to not get my hopes up because hello, just read every other post in this damn blog.

We met up on Saturday night, sat down to drinks, and I spent the first 15 minutes trying to figure out if he was really gay.

I have no fucking idea what he talked about for those 15 minutes or how I responded. I just couldn’t get over him possibly being gay.  I mean, cool if he is, but not my thing.

In any case, we drank quite a bit and ended up going to a bar we both like to cap off the night. We were sitting in a pretty well lit area, it was towards the end of the night, there were a lot of people around and all of a sudden, he grabbed my waist and pulled me in and I realized he was going to kiss me and I TURNED MY HEAD SO HE KISSED MY CHEEK INSTEAD.

I felt like a bitch, and he was clearly hurt, but I just…couldn’t.

He asked why I wouldn’t kiss him – I told him it was too early for that (yup. I’m also a liar). But really, I couldn’t get past his voice. And some mannerisms. And my silent questioning of his sexuality.

That ended the night. He walked me out to wait for my Lyft, and I did give him a quick kiss, but it was clearly a pity kiss and he clearly was ready for me to leave.

I texted immediately after I got home to say thanks again and how much fun I had (that was actually true, minus the whole kissing thing), and got no response. I texted Sunday to ask how he liked the movie he saw, and got a quick one sentence text back.

I know and understand that I hurt his feelings, but there was NO warning or even lead up to him trying to kiss me. There was no heavy duty flirting  — we talked politics most of the night. Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump aren’t exactly sexy.

There was no batting my eyelashes on my part, and no longing looks on his. There was no indication that he was going to even try anything. It came out of nowhere, caught me off guard and I rejected him.

And I know you’re thinking he tried to kiss me, so he must be straight… but I’m still not sure.






15 Responses to "Tinder – Date #1 (aka, I’m going to die alone)"

He might be batting for both sides, but what I don’t seem to understand, is why you don’t let go? Why you are afraid of going on a track that seems unpredictable and out of the ordinary?

Seriously – just try to relax, enjoy people, as everyone is different and people have weird and wonderful ways of doing things – let them be and let yourself be.

Right. He can do whatever he wants, and i can as well. So i was being myself and so was he. Our selves didn’t match up — for me. Doesn’t mean somebody else won’t love it. I didn’t say he has to change. i said he as he is doesn’t do it for me.

Sorry my last message may have come out, rather bland. I meant, with sincerity, to just accommodate your dates a little more. I not talking about this chap in particular, but from what I’ve gathered in reading your posts, is that, they got to fit into a mould you’ve pre-made and if they don’t, well, it’s ta ta.

Oh my gosh, CL, you were not being mean! He put himself out there and got a wee bit hurt, but that’s part of the dating life right? Please, don’t feel at all bad at your reaction. I’m sure Tinder #2 will be better!
xoxox, Lar

You’re the sweetest!! 🙂 I definitely feel a bit guilty but c’est la vie. And here’s to #2 being better, whoever that’s with!

I think I probably would have done the turn the cheek thing – even if there was a spark mwahahahahaha, kinda like a reflex. Maybe all the talk of politics was getting him hot under the collar lol.

Well, how I see it, is your doing well getting dates – I haven’t even left the starting line in that sense – so good luck on the next one! 😀

Lol. There is a silver lining i guess! Thanks for pointing that out 🙂

Happy to be of help hahaha

Questioning of sexuality is never a good sign! Oh well, off with him and on to the next contender…

Exactly! And what’s new on your end????

A wedding date…eek!!

What!!!!! Holy shit and congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of us made it to the finish line!!!! Soooooo happy for you!

Thank you 😊!!
Finish line will be once we’ve both said “qabool” until then, I’m not dropping my runner number!

Oh that makes me sound like an ingrate with a wandering eye… Which I’m not! Bad metaphor..

I totally understand and get it and I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed!!!!

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