currylove

Arranging Marriages – Part 50 (aka, Sigh)

Posted on: December 15, 2016

We’d left things with a decision to meet again, and a few weeks after our first meeting, I was going to be in DC for work. I planned on staying through the weekend and going to the company Christmas party, so I invited him. He’s officially gone to more of my company parties than people I actually work with.

He got there Saturday afternoon, and from Saturday to Sunday, when we weren’t talking about DC landmarks, we talked about work. Again and again and again. I was so bored I thought my eyes would roll out of my head.

I also decided I wasn’t going to bring up anything important – I wanted to see if he wanted to bring it up, or at least learn more about my past. I still have questions about his, and just generally, I wanted to see if we could have a relaxed conversation about all things in life.

Nope. We cannot.

We do similar work, so I understand why it’s an easy fallback, but really – I have more chemistry with Lincoln’s statue than I do with him. We don’t laugh a lot when we’re together, we don’t chat about anything of substance, and when we do, we don’t agree.

As we drove through DC, there was homeless outreach going on and I said something to the effect of “That’s so nice” and he said something to the effect of “They should get a job.”

I almost lost it. I did go off a bit on him about the reasons homelessness exist in this country and how there’s no safety net and how it’s so hard to get out of once you’re in it, but I don’t know that he cared. I also don’t think it makes him a bad person, but it’s not how *I* think. I told my parents he said that and even they were incredulous. My mom’s response was “What address would they even give for a job?” EXACTLY MOM.

Then, we had a ridiculous conversation about kids playing sports. I have to read up on kids/sports/injuries for work and said that with all the information coming out around TBI (traumatic brain injury) and CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) I wouldn’t want my nieces or nephews playing a sport where the potential long term effects aren’t known yet, or they’re known but aren’t widely studied. You only have one brain, man. Keep it as sharp as you can for as long as you can. That’s my take.

His take was, “Well, I wouldn’t say no if my kid wanted to play. It’s their choice.”

My response to that was, “That’s why you’re the parent. Because you’re supposed to know better than a 7 year old.”

When I mentioned this to some friends, their response was, “Yeah, that’s why you see kids of these FOB parents running around all over the place with no discipline!”

And they’re right. There’s a fundamental difference that I can’t pinpoint, but even my sister’s seen it – she has fobby friends who are very sweet, but the kids, who were born here. OMG. Hellions. No structure, no guidance, no bedtimes, no nothing… they do whatever they want. And it’s an epidemic.

Anyway, he dropped me at the airport. Had our awkward side hug (oh, he stayed in the hotel room next to me. Not even a kiss goodnight after the party.) to say goodbye.

Since then? No calls. Just stupid texts: “How you doing? How’s work? My work is busy.”

I’m pretty much done and just need to call it. I think he is too. But I also think we have zero other options. BLAH.

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5 Responses to "Arranging Marriages – Part 50 (aka, Sigh)"

Blah says it all! Zero options are better than blah options. Imagine a lifetime of no chemistry (AND unruly children 😉)

LOL. You’re right. and I know you’re right. It’s just hard to throw away that chance…. when there’s NOTHING to replace it. And Prince Harry might be taken now, so really, there’s no hope. (Had I known he’d marry a non aristocratic person of color, I would’ve stalked harder! ;))

Girl, I am in the exact same position as you! Countless boring conversations with guys that are amazing on paper, but so blah in person. When will it end.. sigh.

IT IS THE WORST!!!!

And with guys who are NOT so great on paper 😦 Yes, it’s horrible.

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