currylove

Posts Tagged ‘humour

So my vibrant neighbor moved on from her first online dating disaster pretty quickly. She met a new guy on match (her age, 75), had had her first date with him and when we were chatting about it, she told me she was thinking of moving in with him after the holidays.

Neighbor: “At my age, when you know, you just know. I don’t have time to waste and neither does he.”

Me: “Wow! That’s awesome!”

Me internally: WOW. Should I be thinking this way? It’s not like I’m getting any younger. Am I too picky? God dammit…. I am.

Neighbor: “I’m so glad I gave him another chance.”

Me: “Wait… what?”

Neighbor: “On our first date he showed up drunk, and he sent me email after email apologizing. I decided to give him a second chance.”

Me: “Oh… wow. Um…. that’s great!”

Me internally: And *there* is the kicker. Should I warn her? That’s such a red flag. But… No she won’t believe me. And I’m cynical. Maybe it’ll work out.

A week later, I ran into her outside and asked about her man.

Turned out they’d gone for a walk and he couldn’t keep up – he was hunched over, huffing and puffing, and generally acting old which totally turned her off.  She’d ended it with him by just saying she didn’t think they were compatible.

Well it turns out their age really does not fucking matter.

He emailed her to say he thought she was horrible AND WRINKLY and not pretty enough for him.

She didn’t respond.

So he emailed her again every day for the next week begging for forgiveness and asking for another chance.

She didn’t respond.

BYE FELIPE.

 

 

 

 

I was chatting with my downstairs neighbor who’s 75 years young. She is so vivacious and awesome. She has adult children, still works a full time job and decided she’s been single for long enough (by choice) that she decided to get on Match.

She had a date with an 80 year old guy. First date went well and they set up their next one. Their second date was near his birthday – she took him a bottle of wine, they sat outside on his deck and watched the sun set on the river ($$$), and they went to one of the best restaurants in town.

I saw her a couple of days after their second date, and she hadn’t heard from him. She texted him “Happy Birthday” and wished him well.  No response. Five days later and she hadn’t heard from.

SHE NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN!!!! AND… WE CAN’T EVEN JOKE HE DIED. Because you know… he may have (but really, I think he’s just an 80 year old douche).

Anyway, it really does not matter their fucking age.  Assholes are assholes, whether their bodies are amazing or wrinkly. It just never gets better.

 

 

 

 

 


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