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Posts Tagged ‘match.com

I was chatting with my downstairs neighbor who’s 75 years young. She is so vivacious and awesome. She has adult children, still works a full time job and decided she’s been single for long enough (by choice) that she decided to get on Match.

She had a date with an 80 year old guy. First date went well and they set up their next one. Their second date was near his birthday – she took him a bottle of wine, they sat outside on his deck and watched the sun set on the river ($$$), and they went to one of the best restaurants in town.

I saw her a couple of days after their second date, and she hadn’t heard from him. She texted him “Happy Birthday” and wished him well.  No response. Five days later and she hadn’t heard from.

SHE NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN!!!! AND… WE CAN’T EVEN JOKE HE DIED. Because you know… he may have (but really, I think he’s just an 80 year old douche).

Anyway, it really does not matter their fucking age.  Assholes are assholes, whether their bodies are amazing or wrinkly. It just never gets better.

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s just go ahead and answer that: Yes. Maybe. Depends on the definition of ‘bitch.’

To back up, I went to a “Stir” event tonight with a friend. We were having fun, chatting mostly with ourselves and the random guy here and there, but nothing exciting.

Then we met these two guys, “S” – he was the one who was actually on Match, and his friend, “T” – who S had dragged along. So S was chatting with us, and he was cute – seemed smart, had a job, is around our age, so we stayed chatting with him. About 2 minutes in, he asked my friend: “So, what do you do for fun? And don’t say travel, everyone says travel but nobody really does it.”

Little does he know who he’s chatting with – she travels extensively for her work, and so do I. Actually, I will pretty much bet that in that group of people at the event, I’ve traveled the furthest and the most exotic-est. Yet, I’m not bragging about it, so why does he think he needs to start with being hostile about it? And he didn’t say it in a cute-funny-flirty way. He said it in a completely dick-ish way, like nobody but him ever does anything with their lives. And pretty much insinuating that if we even dared to say we enjoy travel, we were lying. And then he went on to tell my friend that she reminded him of a girl from high school. That he didn’t like.

OK. Seriously, who does that? Why do that? Why be a dick to just be a dick? And I guess something to know about me – You can talk shit to my face, about me, all day long. I will not give a fuck. But if you ever say anything about my friends, I will make it known exactly how I feel about you – and not in a nice way. I am fiercely loyal and protective of friends and family. Always have been, always will be.

Anyway, he continued to be not so nice to us, so we departed from chatting with him. A little bit later, on the other side of the room, T came over to talk to us, and we enjoyed our conversation with just him – he was nice, friendly, and just fun to talk to.  We were about to leave the event and go to dinner, so we let T know that they were welcome to come if they’d like. They came. Big mistake.

We’re all chatting at dinner and in about 10 minutes, after he’d already been weirdly unsocial and rude, S made a “joke” about women being bad drivers who shouldn’t be on the roads (apparently we got teleported to 1922), talked about how women just like to shop and then called us ITP snobs. And then insulted my friend, again. I was definitely intoxicated when this happened, so I didn’t take too kindly to him being an asshole and this was the ensuing conversation:

Me: “So… do you get a lot of second dates off the girls you meet on Match? Because you’re kind of a dick. I assume they’ll stop at one.”

Him (after being a little speechless for a bit): “Yeah. I do fine. Actually, I get a lot of second dates.”

Me: “Oh, that’s good. And surprising. Cause really, you’re an asshole. I’m not sure how that happens.”

Him: “Well, I guess I’m just an ass when I know it’s not ever going anywhere and I feel like I should be honest, because I have nothing to lose.”

Me: …. just laughter. Really, I couldn’t do anything but laugh at the inanity of that comment. So it’s ok to be rude, mean, and downright vicious because you don’t think you’ll get something out of the person you’re talking to? That’s an awesomely shitty philosphy to live life.

And honestly, I don’t even think that’s true. I think he’s just a little boy, who could dish it out, but when encountered by women who don’t rely on men for every little thing, and were able to talk back and retaliate to the stupid comments, HE couldn’t take it.

And yes, I know I should’ve dropped it. But he was such a fucking prick all night, I couldn’t help but call it as I see it. What woman would want to date him after he’s insulting, rude and condescending? He was all of those things, in an event where you would expect people’s best behavior. So this was his best showing? What’s left to enjoy in the future? Barbs about how women should be barefoot and pregnant? Discussions about how rape wouldn’t happen if women didn’t wear such revealing clothes?

I had invited T (his friend) to a party we’re having, and I’d told S he could come as well. After that last conversation, S said, “OH, by the way, I think I’ll be busy on that night, so I can’t come.”

Me: “Oh. Such a shame. Our loss.”

Seriously, asshole. Don’t fuck with me. And definitely don’t fuck with my friends. I have no patience for it. What makes me so annoyed (with myself) was I thought he the cute one! My friend picked up on the douche-ness before I did, which of course now has me questioning my abilities to choose good ones. Poor T was caught in the middle, and he was definitely feeling awkward.

The boys left before we did, and when the waitress came over, she said: “Oh, they left?” We replied that they had to get home, and she goes, “The one [T] was nice, but the other one was really odd. He was just weird. There’s something wrong with him.”

VALIDATION.

So… Sure. I may be a bitch, but only when it’s really deserved (in my opinion). The ironic part of the whole night was that my girlfriend said that I was nicer than anyone she’d ever met – I would talk to anyone who approached us, whether I was interested or not. Whether I found them cute or not. Whether I would date them or not. I just think that’s the nice appropriate thing to do. People go to events like this (or even just to the bar, or out in general) to meet others, and I’m not going to ever be rude for no reason. I will talk to anyone who talks to me, and I’ll treat them with respect and kindness and sincerity. Apparently, not everyone thinks like that.

AND… T clearly liked me, because he texted and said it was a pleasure to meet me, and he hopes we meet up soon. I guess I’ll have to forgive his bad taste in friends.

So there… Bitch? Yes. Deservedly bitchy? More than yes.

 

 

 

So I normally ignore the emails from Match.com that say “You have 18 new matches today!” because I’m already tired of it… but today, I looked at the email just for fun.

Color me surprised when the first picture I see is this guy I had met at a bar TWO YEARS AGO and then we had an actual date and went to a movie. He was cute, funny and I was super bummed when we never hung out again.

Guys. It’s official. I HAVE DATED EVERY FUCKING GUY IN THIS CITY. I’m into re-runs now.

In any case, because I have no shame, I went ahead and emailed him. It’s not like he’s had any better luck since we met so long ago… Maybe he’s more desperate now too! 😉

Will keep you posted if he emails back, but I’m not betting he will.

 

So after a bit of a drought with Match, I had two dates this weekend. And they couldn’t have been any more diverse… Muslim boy on Saturday afternoon, and an Irish guy on Sunday night.

I met the Irish guy last night at a local steak/sports bar, and he’d taken the train over (MARTA is smarta!) which I thought was cool. I never take MARTA anywhere, not even the airport. But it’s such a Euro-thing to do, right? Public transportation is so great, if you actually use it. I do not.

One of the last times I rode MARTA some cracked out old woman was trying to sell us drugs and didn’t have any underwear on. I was scarred for LIFE. Seriously. It’s hard to “just ignore” someone when they’re yelling at you and also displaying goods which may or may not be for purchase. She didn’t say.

Anyway, back to my date! I was not just impressed with his desire to reduce pollution and not drink and drive but also his Irish brogue. So cute!  Physically, not really my type but I figured I could just close my eyes and listen to him talk if it came down to it…

I got there about 5 minutes late, and he was already half a beer down. Sadly, not drinking Guinness as I thought he would be, but Heineken.

Fast forward 4 hours (after discussing work, telework, the Euro, the economic collapse associated with the Euro, maths, liquor, Irish bars, work again, living in the States, living in Ireland, some long pauses with no chatting) and we’re both a few drinks in. Except he can drink 2 for every 1 of mine, so he’s basically put down a 6-pack. Plus the last couple of rum and cokes that I ordered, I couldn’t actually finish because they were all rum and I did have to drive – so he drank them. All the while telling me how rum and cokes are his favorite drink too – I think he was excited about the ‘kismet’ of that, but come on. It’s just that rum and coke is a hard drink for a bartender to fuck up, so it’s the easiest one to have on stand-by.

Basically, he was, as they say in the Emerald Isle, pissed. Or, as we say here, drunk off his ass. (What is, “Irish Stereotypes for $1000”, Alex??)

I ordered some food to help soak up the alcohol, but he wouldn’t have any. Guess it would’ve got in the way of his buzz. And then, as I watched him stumble to the bathroom, I knew I couldn’t leave him to take public transport home – the half-naked, drug-selling women would’ve just taken advantage of him.

So I went to use the restroom myself before we left and came back and he started swaying his way towards me, and I saw that his card was still sitting in the bill-fold (I’d offered to contribute, but he said no) – so I said, “Oh, they haven’t run your card yet?”

And the bartender pulls out his card and his copy of the bill and hands them over. Oh, they’d run it, and he was about to walk out of the bar without his credit card. Honestly, I have no clue if he signed the bill or left a tip. He didn’t even remember his card was still sitting there, in plain sight! I debated going back to see if he’d left a tip, but I honestly couldn’t be arsed. (I am super enjoying Brit slang, if you haven’t noticed).

So I drove him back to his place. And he was very sweet and very thankful about it and had forgotten his gate card for the pedestrian walk-way, so had to call himself from the car gate area and walked through that. Oy. I did totally wait till he was inside his complex before I drove off.  You know, I like to make sure my dates make it back home. I figure it’s the least I can do.

I would totally see him again, in a group setting, where I wasn’t responsible for his health and well-being. He’s fun and appeared to be surprised I was smart and conversant in many topic areas (Who is he meeting off match? Sheesh. I didn’t think anything we talked was that groundbreaking!). By the way – the accidentally (??) back-handed compliments I get from guys are just awesome. The Muslim boy told me: “Yeah, I got married young because I was too much into physical appearances. I don’t want to make that mistake again.”   Ummmmmmmmmmmmm…….. thanks, asshole.  Ok, I don’t even think he meant it the way I took it, but come on! Who says that on a first-date? I’ll just believe it’s because he’s out of practice.

Match Cost and recoup-ment:

After Saturday’s date, I had $54 left to recoup. Last night I had an appetizer and 3 drinks, about an average of $9 each, so that’s $36.

Only $18 left to get back.  Also, just for a disclaimer:  This is just me being tongue-in-cheek. I always offer to contribute and I mean it – I have no problem splitting the cost. I know these guys are in the same boat I am in terms of having paid for Match, and I appreciate it a lot when they treat it like a “real” first date, and not just some internet-assisted meet-up, which is what it is.

So as you know, I’ve been on Match.com for a bit…. and I had my first date from it t0day.

He’s Muslim (not so great for me, considering I’m Hindu) but I figured I’d give him a shot. We met for coffee and he’d texted about how he was looking forward to it.

We meet up, he’s cute, fit, a bit shorter than me in heels and divorced with four kids.

YES. DIVORCED. WITH FOUR KIDS.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Apparently, he didn’t feel the need to disclose that in his profile, because ……. he knew no-one would want to deal?

It came out piece by piece, and he was clearly not wanting to chat about it, but there was no way in fucking hell I was going to let it go either. First, the divorced part came out: “Yeah, I’ve been divorced about 2 years.”  Me: “Oh, how long were you married?”  Him: “12 years.”  Me: “Oh…………so…………… are there any kids??” Him: “Yes.” Me: “Um….. how many?” Him: “4.”

Me: “Oh……………. ummmmmmmmmmmm. How old?”

Him: “They range from 11 to 3.”

Me: “Wow. That sucks that you guys got divorced. The poor kids.”

Ok. That may have been a super shitty thing to say, but come on! His youngest is THREE. They got divorced when he was ONE. THAT BLOWS.

At the end of our date, he says: “I’d love to see you again.”

I said: “Sure, but clearly, this is not going to work romantically, so it would be just as friends.”

Honestly, I cannot even lead him on. What’s the point? This was going to go nowhere and he had to know that. And truthfully, I would like to be friends with him – he’s outdoorsy, does off-roading in his jeep, does hiking and kayaking. There are actually things I do like about him as a person, but just not as a partner. And I apologized for being blunt, but I didn’t want to pretend this was going to be anything. He seemed to appreciate it, and we talked about going off-roading sometime in the fall to see the leaves change color.

In his jeep. That has a car-seat in the back.

Sigh.

And how did I get to the point that women are gross, again? Because I met up with my friends for drinks after my date. And after drinking a few myself, I had to pee. So I went to the “lady’s” room and it smelled like someone puked in there. Know why? Because someone puked in there. And turns out, they puked all over the little trash can that was in the stall that I went into, I just didn’t see it before I sat down to pee.

Seriously women. If you have to throw up, choose a place where no one else has to see or smell it. What is fucking wrong with you? GO OUTSIDE.

I hate my own gender at times, more than I can express.

And I hate the opposite gender, for various reasons.

Basically, I hate everyone.

Oh. And. I decided I want to recoup my stupid payment for 3 months worth of match, which cost me $60. I only had  a hot-chocolate today, so that’s $6 down – only $54 left to get back.

So I decided it was finally time to get back online and date again. It’s not like I’m meeting quality guys on my own or through my parents, as you’ve been reading.

Last night, I took the plunge and joined Match. Actually, it turns out that technically I “re-joined” – I had a profile that had been hidden from the first time I joined… 4 years ago. Holy fuck. I did this FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

Well, some things have changed: I’m older. I’m more jaded. I’m more heartbroken. I’m making more money (thought I’d at least throw in a positive).

I’ve not felt so stagnant in a long time. And partly, it’s because it contrasts so badly with where I (delusionaly) thought I would be around this time this year: Living in the UK. Planning a wedding. Complaining about the shit weather they have. Snuggling up with the boy that I thought I loved. Living a British life on an American salary.

As my friend, S, said when I was complaining to her about having to get back online after these many years of nothing-ness: Maybe this time around the boys will be newer, shinier and better.

We can only hope. Stay tuned….


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