Posts Tagged ‘why are you so loud

Had a session yesterday with my trainer, and I’m doing sit-ups on that stupid incline bench holding a 10 lb weight. I’m always scared I’m going to drop said weight onto my face, body, somewhere. It doesn’t help that he makes me laugh while I’m doing these:

Me: “What’d you do last night?”

Him: “Just went to this little place for dinner, sat at the bar*, had some tequila and beer. But I left early because the cops come out and I didn’t want to be driving when they’re looking for people. And, I didn’t want to leave my car there, because it’s sort of ghetto just a block over. I didn’t want the Mexicans stealing it.”

Me (pulling myself up, laughing): “You are SO racist!”

Him: “No! I don’t have anything against Mexicans! It’s just that they’d steal my car!”

I had the giggles, which is really not conducive for doing any sort of situp. Also, his defense of his non-racism is not helping his cause, but it is true in that neighborhood that the car probably would be stolen. By which race, I’m not sure, but stolen definitely. *Also, every time he tells me a story, he’s by himself. So no girlfriend. More weirdly, no friends either.

So we move on with the session and, of course, there’s an older guy (in really good shape) using this arm bench-press machine with a massive amount of weight on it.  My trainer just looks at me, smirks, and says: “Some people make me laugh.” SUPER LOUDLY.

Like, come on. This guy can totally figure out that you mean him! So I told him to be quiet, as I have to do multiple times each sessions.

Him: “But he’s got no extension! He’s not even using it right!”

Me: “Fine, but unless you’re going to help him, I don’t think making fun of him is very nice. God. You’re mean and racist!!!”







So even though my trainer is loud as fuck, I adore him. It helps that he’s easy on the eyes and I actually enjoy chatting with him, when he’s not broadcasting my information for the entire gym to hear.

Saturday, I went in for my session with him and we discussed ‘boobgate.’ He apologized, again, and we talked about how I maybe won’t see the percentage weight loss that he had thought I would. He also thanked me for bringing it up, because apparently, no one else has ever mentioned this before… good thing I have no filter.

Anyway, as I’m doing these awful chair squats, I see an older lady doing pull-ups. I whisper to him: “That’s what I want to do! I want to be able to do a pull-up!!!”


Me (quietly): “Shut up! You are so loud. She’s not deaf! Is her form really that bad?”

Him (loudly): “YES!”

And then he says, in the same loud voice (but I’ll save you from reading in all-caps):

“But you can’t always tell people that they doing something wrong, especially older ones. They get really offended when you’re just trying to help! It’s the testosterone when they’re working out and they don’t want to hear it. Old people just want to do what they’ve always done.”

Ok, I got the giggles. First of all, SHE CAN TOTALLY HEAR HIM! Secondly, dude, she’s not ANCIENT! And she’s trying hard to get a work out in… but he was not even going to bother going over to help, because he’s had people complain about that before (which, come on, I can totally understand why someone would complain).

I just looked at him, still giggling, and said: “She can hear you, you know. Jesus. When will you learn to be quieter?!?! Some old person’s gonna kick your ass.”  He was laughing too by then.

I like to imagine this scenario in mind almost exactly how it happened, except we’re at my place, naked, about to have sex. So basically, in no way exactly how it happened. 😉   In my delusional world, he’s thinking the same thing.

Last night, after finishing up a really good workout with my loud trainer, we went to schedule our next meeting.

As we’re doing so, I tell him that I haven’t noticed any weight loss. His response was that I should be looking at body fat percentage, not weight.

So I took this as my segue into telling him how I feel about the size of my boobs and that they contribute to my overall body fat percentage AND that since they are so big, and always have been so big, that I don’t think they should contribute to my baseline percentage. Basically, they’re not going away – they’ve always been as big as they are.  It’s been about 15 years with them, I don’t gain or lose in my chest and I don’t think it’s fair that they mathematically count against me.

So I told him, in a quiet voice, that obviously my breasts are rather large and they don’t change size, and that perhaps we should take that into account, because I would never lose the amount of body fat he wants me to.

Me: “Yes…”
Me: “Yeah, I understand, but I’m trying to tell you that they don’t change. They are always like this.”


I was SO PISSED. First of all, that’s not what I’m saying and secondly, SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don’t need the whole gym to know we’re talking about my damn boobs.

So I told him that: “Could you quit yelling my shit out loud? It’s embarrassing. Also, we’re not on the same page, so we can stop this discussion anyway.”

That got to him, and we finally talked about MY body and what I thought was the problem. He apologized for being so fucking loud. Did he not see me turning bright red? It’s one thing to talk about my boobs in a bar. It’s another to make it the loudest conversation in a gym.

He did say, though, that he would research it and talk to a female trainer to see what her thoughts were. That’s fine, and I was happy with that – we confirmed for Saturday. After I got home, we texted a little bit back and forth after and he apologized profusely for being such a loud asshole: “You’re not the first to tell me I’m loud. I’m so sorry. I have a tendency to holler”

My response: “You can holler at me when I have bad form, but not when we’re talking about my boobs.”

It’s embarrassing enough to have to discuss this with someone I don’t know very well. But then, on top of all of that, I have to worry that he’s going to broadcast it to the entire fucking gym. And honestly, given that everyone’s got an iPod in their ears, they probably don’t care… but I do.

I’ll see him Saturday for my leg workout and talk to him then, let’s see how quiet he is  😉



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